Vincent: Guy, now is the time to buy the DIP, already pumping gradually, so make it quick...
— TheJerrys (@JerrysBits) October 13, 2022
.
Braniac: Am buying ASAP.
... From PancakeSwap: Router v2 To PancakeSwap V2: EPL For 4.5 ($1,180.65) Wrapped BNB (WBNB)
.
Braniac:
... CHART after 5 Minutes pic.twitter.com/lnTGCH9Upw
Dad: Don't be in competition with anybody, if land finish before you make am, you go buy their house or their family house, then demolish it to build yours....
— TheJerrys (@JerrysBits) October 13, 2022
Me: pic.twitter.com/MecFBTdDe5
Your boyfriend no get A/C you dey buy am duvet as Val gift,
you wan kill am?
*Better buy me AC first, you fit con buy duvet next year, that if we have not broken up*
Teacher: Apart from some iPhone users, which other sets of people act like they have made it in life?
Joy: Ladies that just got married, they will be flaunting their wedding ring as if they are carrying a flag.
Brown: Those people that serve food at weddings.
Taofeek: People that sit near the window in the bus, they look at us that are trekking as if we are poor or orphans.
Jerry: Whatsapp and Facebook group admins, small disagreement they will threaten to remove someone from the group as if the group is the book of life.
John: Church ushers, they act as though they are the biological children of God while the rest of us are adopted.
*Don't stop the fun here, add yours in the comment section*
Interviewer: Tell me your weakness.
Jerry: I can be very stubborn.
Interviewer: Please explain.
Jerry: I will not.
*lolz*
*Stubbornness won't give you anything in this life.*
*Don't act like a goat...* smiles*
A baby boy was born in hospital laughing instead of crying, the more the nurses beat him, the more he laughed so hard, suddenly the doctor noticed he had something in his hands, so he pulled the tiny hands apart and discovered he was holding 3 abortion pills.
The baby then turned his head looking at his mother, laughed again, and said
"NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!"
Judge: Why did the police arrest you?
Jerry: For shopping too early o.
Judge: Well, that's not a crime. Anyway, how early were you shopping?
Jerry: Before the shop opened.
*If You Were The Judge, what will be the sentence you will give for such an act?
Breaking News!!!
The MTN girl that usually says you have only one minute remaining,
has been tested positive for coronavirus.
*E shock you abi?*
To my Valentine
You're the BODMAS of my eyes
When you touch my heart, you become my syllabus.
I'm Mathematically calculated,
Geographically located,
Historically remembered,
Biologically functioning,
Chemically reacting,
Physically fit,
But don't forget one thing...
Economically budgeted ... *winks*
*What will be your response if you got this message from your lover?*
I attended a crusade and someone touched my shoulder and said "YOU WILL WALK". I didn't bother because I knew I was not lame. After the crusade, I touched my pocket and I couldn't find my wallet which contained my transport fare```!!!...
*Behold, I WALKED.*
*Don't stop laughing*
``` Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
A few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: "One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You". He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a Church nearby, for the priest.
"Father, pls come with me. Come & witness God & satan sharing corpses at the cemetery". They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: "One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You'...
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: "What About The Two At The Gate?" Let's get them ... You should see the marathon.
The priest almost ran pass the church gate shouting: "We Are Not Dead Yet oohh```
*laugh out loud*
FIRST BANK ATM debited an elderly man 20K twice in front of me without dispensing cash, he grabbed me & shouted; "you are not going anywhere because you are my only witness ooo...
This is Nigeria, *smiles*.
*PLEASE WHAT SHOULD I DO?*
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
*Are Your Friends Smarter Than You Are?*
Oya tell us if you think you're smarter than your friends or not!!!
2019 WAEC PAST QUESTIONS
SUBJECT: HISTORY
INSTRUCTIONS: ANSWER ALL SECTION A
1. In what year did a senator jump out of a moving vehicle?
A.2015
B.2016
C.2017
D.2018
2. Which Nigerian president is good at letter writing?
A. Yar Adua
B. Buhari
C. Obasanjo
D. Jonathan
3. Which Nigerian president accused Nigerian youths of being lazy
A. Babangida
B. Obasanjo
C. Buhari
D. Gowon
4. Which country In the African continent do their wives belong to the kitchen and other rooms?
A. Congo
B. Togo
C. Ivory coast
D. Nigeria
5. If the article "Transmitted Transmission" were to be a setup, who might have masterminded it?
A. Ekweremadu
B. Saraki
C. Melaye
D. None of the above
SECTION B. ESSAY: ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS
1. In which regime in Nigeria's history did a snake swallow N30 million naira? (20 marks)
2. Who is the auto of the article "Transmitted Transmission"? (30 marks)
3. For ur mind who do you think is responsible for the hilarious article titled "TRANSMITTED TRANSMISSION" (30 marks)
E shock you abi? You are on your own GOODLUCK!
Transfer to others because we have limited question paper.
Your time starts now!
*Prove to us you have what it take to get an "A"*
Tutor: Jerry finish these sentences... many are called but.....?
Jerry: but only a few have credit to call back.
*what a jerry he was, lols*
